I know I know. It’s almost April and this is my first Thoughts for Thursday of the year. I’ve been a little busy being busy. And that’s no excuse. Sometimes I just don’t have a lot to say, and that’s kind of the topic of this post. It’s okay to be silent when we need to be. Our business is not everyone’s business to know.
We are all unique individuals. We think differently. We act differently. We speak differently. Have you ever wondered what makes us the way we are? Is it our upbringing? Is it traumatic events that molded us? Is it a series of events or actions? I really don’t know. I don’t have the answer. But I do know that we are all different. And I think that is a beautiful thing. How boring would it be if we were all the same?
I’m a deep thinker. Not an overthinker. There’s a big difference. I’m a listener, not a talker. Do I have opinions, yes. Do I have a need or desire to be heard, no. Am I competitive, not in the slightest. Do I need to be right at all costs, absolutely not. I realize that I am different. I have been studying personalities and attachment styles for the last several years. Our relationships with other people really are based on our personalities, communication styles, and more importantly our attachment styles. My attachment style is Secure Attachment. I have a secure view of myself and others and I don’t seek external validation or approval from anyone. I don’t operate out of fear and I choose to see the good in everyone. However, on the flip side, someone who is avoidant, insecure or dismissive is going to find me extremely difficult to read because I don’t get overly emotional and I keep my cards close to my vest. This makes an over thinker really nervous because they feel like I have something to hide. I share this not to become your therapist but to make you aware that we all have attachments styles and it helps to know what yours is. Moving on from that….
I have seen an increase in posts on social media where people are overly sensitive about various topics. When accidents happen, it is automatically flagged as a conspiracy theory or a terrorist attack. If a celebrity goes quiet for a while, it is automatically assumed that someone is having an affair or there is a crisis. I used to wonder what is wrong with me that I don’t think this way. I used to wonder why I didn’t get upset or frustrated or question the authenticity of something. But you know what? I have come to realize that there is nothing wrong with me. Just because I see a van parked near me and I don’t automatically jump to the conclusion that it is “sketchy” doesn’t mean that there is something wrong with me. I noticed the van. I’m aware of the van. But I choose not to let it alarm or scare me. I would make a terrible attorney. I’d be a terrible investigator. I hate board games because it requires me to think outside of work. What I find draining or exhausting is what might fuel someone else’s fire or passion. There are many many professions that I would be horrible at. I accept that. But there are brilliant people out there that excel at those things because their brain is wired that way. Mine is not. We all have a calling. We all have gifts. Can we each celebrate and recognize that in others and appreciate what they offer to the world?
Can we not accept people for who they are, how they think, and for their opinions without judgement? We may not be everyone’s cup of tea. I know for a fact that there are many people that I would drive absolutely crazy and I actually have. Can we just be a little more accepting, respectful and kind to one another? It really isn’t that hard.