Enough is Enough
Know your worth. I think these 3 words are the most overused, under rated and unappreciated words we can use. Do you really know your worth? Like deep down, 100% know your worth. Forget the memes. Forget the Instagram and Tik Tok videos. Dig deep and decide for yourself your value. I guarantee you that you are probably selling yourself short. I know I do. I’m a giver. I’m a people pleaser. I’m patient. And I give grace waaaayyyy too much. I don’t give to get something in return. But dang, would it be so terrible to achieve reciprocity? There comes a time when enough is enough. You can only give so much before your tank runs empty. Your cup must be filled so that you don’t thirst. Way too many of us are dehydrated. Just because someone isn’t pouring into you doesn’t mean that you can’t pour into yourself. Two words…self-love. There are two people in this world that have unconditional love for you: God and yourself. There isn’t a relationship out there that is going to thrive unless you have both. Love yourself. Love yourself enough to demand respect. You are never too much for someone. They were too little for you. I recently caught myself using the words “bare minimum” and “I can do without”. Oh helllllll no. I’m embarrassed for the weak moment in which I said those things. But I said them. And at that moment, I was willing to sacrifice my wants and my needs. Am I proud of that? No. But I was pouring into someone else’s cup instead of my own. Someone who couldn’t see my value or my worth. The right person will see you as God sees you. The right person will love you like Jesus does. If they don’t, then they are not meant for you. If they are not meant for you, then you are both wasting your time. Last year my word was “waiting”. I heard the words clear as day “be still and know”. I started this year with the same frame of mind. But you know what? God never said to quit living while you are waiting. He said, “My will, my timing”. In the meantime, get busy living. Get busy growing. Get busy healing. Do the work! Never stop doing the work. You attract what you allow yourself to attract. You will be treated how you allow someone to treat you. It isn’t just about knowing your worth. It’s about knowing what you want. Don’t settle for anything less. You are not responsible for other people. You cannot control other people. Stay in your lane. We are tempted to swerve into other people’s lane. We want to believe that they have our best interest at heart. If your best interest isn’t being served, bless and release. It sucks. It’s hard. But staying in a situation where you are unwanted hurts. Period. Stop settling for breadcrumbs. Breadcrumbs don’t bake a cake. Think about the time you fed the seagulls at the beach. Most likely you were feeding them scraps. And they flocked to you didn’t they? Have you ever fed carp? The bottom feeders of the lake. You most likely were tossing them scraps. And they swarmed it didn’t they? People are the same. Don’t settle for scraps. Scraps will leave you hungry. Go bake your own damn cake! And top it with butter cream frosting. Because you deserve it. You deserve every ounce of love, joy and happiness that exists. The right people will see your worth. To all the others, tell them to take a seat so that the people behind them have a clear view of you. Because they know what they are looking for as well. And it might just be you.
With that said, those are my words for you. But what are my thoughts that pertain to me? I am great at giving advice. I’m not so great at taking my own advice. I do have a masters in Clinical Psychology. Most people wouldn’t know that. It isn’t something that I ever pursued. I do have a gift for listening. I also have a gift of listening better than I vocalize with others. I’m a bit of a vault. My walls are high. I let very few in. And if I do let you in and you betray my trust, game over. Now this is where I promised earlier in the week that I was going to bring fire with this message……
I have reached the point in my life where enough is enough. I will no longer tolerate things and people that don’t grow me. I have allowed others to take my voice. That’s why I have been unable to write these posts. I have been a hermit. I have shut down my social media to the public. I have been watched, stalked, criticized and tormented by a hater. I’m done. DONE. Done letting someone else continue to bully me. Instead of blocking it, I’m leaving it wide open. You’re waiting for me to fail? You’re waiting to watch some delusional bad “karma” occur in my life? Keep watching. Watch 24/7 if you like. I no longer care. I never did. Sit back and watch. I’m not going to blow up, I’m going to glow-up. And you have front row seats for the show. What I won’t allow you to do is comment. You are no longer allowed to get in my space. Your negativity is not welcome here. Your satanic pentagram, sorcery, witchcraft, crystals, energy, vibrations and astrological nonsense and magical powers are NOT welcome here. God will continue to protect and serve over me. I am a daughter of the most high and He will not allow your evil to continue to exist in my life. We are done here.
Lastly….
I am through accepting anything less than what I deserve. I have worked way too damn hard to lower my expectations now. I have done the work. The emotional work. Someone once told me that my superpower was heightened emotional awareness. I wouldn’t say they are wrong. I know exactly who I am and what I want in life. Laser focused actually. If you can’t meet me at my level, you will not grow with me. If you can’t match my energy, you will drain me. I have sacrificed, I have done without, I have placed other people’s needs before my own. I have raised 4 children without help or a penny of child support. I dug myself out of thousands of dollars of debt. I am now debt free. I pulled my credit score out of the gutter. Easy in not in my vocabulary. I met the love of my life, watched him endure cancer and liver disease, only to bury him 3 years later. I left the city and everything I knew to start a quiet simple life in the country on my own. Am I strong? You bet. Am I ridiculously independent? 100%. Do I possess way too much masculine energy? Absolutely. Do you want to know why? I haven’t met a masculine energy strong enough yet to bring out and nurture my feminine energy. You want to protect me? Prove it. You want to provide for me? Show me. You want to be with me? Tell me. In the meantime, I’ll just be over here living my best life, focusing on me. Because I got this! I was once told I would never make it on my own. My response was “watch me”. I hope you’re still watching. Because I’m thriving on my own. #self